Persistence is the key to achieve the transformation to greatness. Anyone can become a great partner regardless of past experience or lack thereof. If you are a person with a sincere heart and honest efforts, you will achieve the status of greatness. It will be a result of your willingness to risk and your persistence to stay with it even when it seems that you are not getting anywhere.
Human nature is to want results fast and easy. Consistent ability will come over time. I know how desperate some of you may be and how impatient the rest of you are. Therefore, you have develop a solid program that will get you results regardless of your commitments. Even with this said, some of you would give up at the first sign of trouble and move onto another book with another approach.
The foundations of relationship success are timeless and you will not fail as long as you stick with it. So if it is hard, then do it hard because isn't your partner worth it? Of course, they are, so stick with the decision to be Great and the willingness to do whatever it takes.
He Didn't Have A Snowball's Chance In Hell. He knew it and so did she. I only came to therapy so I could tell the ladies at church that I had tried. Katherine admitted. She was fed up with Tom's rigid demands. After eighteen years, she had had enough. She had already seen an attorney and would soon be filing for divorce.
After hearing more of their story and of Tom's behavior, it sounded as if Tom did not even deserve another chance. He had provided well for his wife and children but had been a difficult man to live with. His corrective demands on his family were spirit breaking. When Tom finished acknowledging the damage he had done to Katherine, he looked at me with tears streaming down his face and cried, Please help me be the man I should have been!
Tom gave me his undivided attention, as all people do when they are in the doghouse. I laid out specific strategies for him. All of which are within the pages of this book. The one strategy that made the biggest initial impact on Katherine was his decision to be a great spouse. He also included a great father as one of his new labels. He committed himself to greatness and realigned his priorities to ensure that Katherine knew that she was his priority.
Now this kind of initial response is common, especially for the first 2 weeks. Rarely do people stick with this strategy for a month. Moreover, even more rare does it go beyond a 6-week period. Tom stuck with it. Within a month, Katherine had dropped the idea of divorce and had reopened her heart to Tom. They were having a newlywed experience that was better than the first one. Every few months, I would call and check in on Tom and Katherine and the reports exclaimed a transformation into a great marriage that improved year after year. Years later, they have a freshness about them that the other couples in their town admire.
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